Crushing Despair
The Apostle Paul was crushed and despaired of living. He felt he had received a sentence of death within himself. He had reached a challenging point in his travels, during which he was sharing the story and teachings of Jesus. His message wasn’t always welcome, though, and his words in 2 Corinthians can attest to that.
Paul wrote these words in the middle of the First Century to a church he helped begin in the city of Corinth. A lot of his correspondence with the Corinthians survives, and there are references to other interactions documented in those sources. Scholars think there were at least four letters, and that the book we refer to as 2 Corinthians might include segments from a few of them. Details aside, this was a community, comprised of many who were uneducated and poor, about which Paul cared deeply. (Roetzel, 83–84)
There is reference made to what he terms a painful visit with the Corinthians, and to interaction with an individual from among their midst who humiliated Paul. (Roetzel, 94) Today’s passage suggests that the situation has been resolved, though Paul is still wounded from the experience. (Smith, loc 5375) He often has a defensive tone in 2 Corinthians, defending his knowledge, authority, and actions within and on behalf of the church.
His writings also reveal that he does not believe his affliction results from sin, though that was a belief held among some people at that time as well as many today. Rather, he believes that, as Paul Sampley writes, “identifying with God, with the gospel, assures one of encountering distress and suffering, and that very affliction becomes the locus where God’s consolation, comfort, and encouragement find abundant expression.” (Sampley, 892) If you follow the gospel, you will be “at cross purposes with the world, whose structures are dominated by sin.” (Sampley, 893)
In addition, Paul realized that humans are fragile and finite, and that we “experience distress and loss as ingredient to life.” (Sampley, 895–896)
Where, then, did he place his hope and reliance? On God. In the face of crushing despair and death, Paul reminded himself that Jesus had conquered death, that God raises the dead. As a Pharisee, he was familiar with scripture, which shows again and again that God is faithful, that God delivers her people. Paul placed his trust in the one who set him on his path, even though that path sometimes passed through difficult terrain.
Many don’t like to consider their mortality, but we are indeed fragile and finite. That is true outwardly, in terms related to our bodies and health that are visible and measurable. And it’s also true inwardly, related to our minds and hearts. One privilege I have as a pastor is hearing people’s stories, including their struggles. An organization with whom I partner connects me with people from around Harrisburg who want to text with a pastor. When a match is made, I receive a text notification, after which I introduce myself, and our messaging begins. Some interactions are of a lighter nature, like those involving a search for a faith community. Others are much heavier — relationship challenges, substance abuse, depression, inadequate income, and searching for purpose are hardships for many.
Do those afflictions result from sin? Considering most of us have struggled with at least one if not all of them during our lives, I’d say not. Rather, they are part of life. You might notice that some are circumstantial and external, like relationship challenges and inadequate income, but depression and searching for purpose happen within. That was the case with Paul’s afflictions. The “sentence of death” he experienced within himself “would . . . have been understood in the first century as self-condemnation, the feelings that overwhelm the soul with regret or remorse. Regret arose from the paradox of the stern judge and convicted offender inhabiting the same body.” (Fredrickson, loc 49855)
Sometimes Paul’s ministry put him in physical danger, but the struggles he shares with the Corinthians sound like they are internal. His frustrations and fractured relationships weighed heavily on him, leading to the despair he faced. I suspect at times he encountered doubt about what he was doing, and perhaps uncertainty about where the Spirit was leading him.
If that was the case, Paul was in good company among our spiritual ancestors. Many well-known followers of Jesus — including St. Teresa of Avila, St. John of the Cross, Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr., and Mother Teresa of Calcutta — wrote about their faith struggles. Surely they experienced inspiration from the Spirit at times during their journeys, but what they reveal in their writings is that there were periods of radio silence as well, some of them lengthy. They felt like they were on their own with their doubts about their faith or about the path they had chosen.
I like Roger Rosenblatt’s paraphrase of an old quote: “Be kind for everyone you meet carries a great burden.” While people might present on social media like they’re doing fine, or might respond that they’re good when asked how they are, I think we’re all dealing with various struggles. Maybe some of us don’t like to disclose the details because we think others have it worse, or maybe we rarely find the right context in which we’re comfortable sharing. Regardless, we probably too often face our burdens alone or even deny their validity. We might not be in the depths of despair, but that doesn’t mean we’re not in need of help.
Paul wrote that “The One who from so great a deadly peril rescued us will continue to rescue us; on God we have set our hope to rescue us again.” But God was not Paul’s only source of help. He also credits the prayers of those in Corinth, and he offers gratitude for those prayers. Gentile culture, some temple authorities, and the Roman occupiers often presented challenges for Paul and the fledgling churches he helped found. The message he preached was counter-cultural, and at times resulted in his being imprisoned or otherwise persecuted, which was the case for other early Christians as well.
Thus Paul understood the need for those early Christian churches to be healthy communities. Creating a community can be a challenge in the first place, and even more so when its values conflict with those of a dominant way of life. Thankfully, it can also be a haven for those who have been marginalized by society; many early Jesus-followers had experienced the abuse of those in power, and could appreciate the message of love and hope Paul offered.
Paul took comfort in his supporters, and he tried to offer comfort to them. Despite the suffering he had endured, his dedication to God and to the spread of the gospel was strong.
A year ago, while I was still developing the foundation for what would become Intertwined, I interviewed a number of people about their ideas around community. What I found confirmed what you often hear in news stories around the subject: people feel disconnected. Many are in search of a genuine community where they can feel at home, but they struggle to find such a place. Social media is a poor substitute for personal contact.
The value our country places on individualism has a cost; it has undercut the value we place on community, and thus our community organizations have suffered. Many families have become insular, and in some cases we’re only passing acquaintances with our neighbors (if we know them at all). We’re so busy with our jobs and activities that we’re left with little energy for anything else, or if we do have time for entertainment we don’t need to leave our homes to consume it.
One of the biggest lessons I learned from COVID and the isolation it necessitated was the value of being around other people. I’m an introvert, and need my time alone, but the many months we spent at home in 2020 and 2021 sapped my energy. On the flip side, the interactions I’ve had with so many people since the genesis of Intertwined have been life-giving. Whether over coffee, at a weekday meetup, on one of our hikes, or at a Sunday gathering, we’ve shared our stories, our hopes, and our challenges. I’m fortunate to be part of a community that offers such opportunities for genuine connection.
That said, I still sometimes forget the value of human interaction. Sometimes, like Paul in today’s passage, I’ll allow negative self-talk to lead me toward despair. I’ll let unfortunate circumstances or pessimism or stress or the news put me in a bad mood. And too often when I’m in situations like that, I’ll stay focused inward. I’ll keep my nose to the grind instead of going for a walk outdoors, or instead of spending time in centering prayer. I’ll hole up in my basement at my desk instead of talking to someone. And that’s unfortunate, because the missing piece of my inner dialog might be in somebody else’s head. I’m still learning that other people often hold the answer to what I am seeking or are best able to express what I need to hear.
If you ever feel crushed, if you ever feel despair, know that you’re not alone. So did Paul, whose words we’re still reading almost 2000 years after he wrote them. So did St. Teresa of Avila and St. John of the Cross and Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and Theresa of Calcutta, all of whose lives are now considered exemplary. So does your neighbor and your co-worker and the famous person you most admire and the owner of the nicest house overlooking the city.
Yes, we will suffer at times, but also yes, God is faithful. And yes, everyone around you is created in the image of that same God. So know you don’t need to be self-reliant all the time. Sometimes the answer you seek will come from the Holy Spirit, and sometimes it will come from a fellow human. On those occasions, God willing, we’ll know to look outside ourselves when there is despair to be crushed.
Thanks be to God.
Amen.
Works Referenced
Fredrickson, David E. “2 Corinthians.” In Fortress Commentary on the Bible: The Old Testament and Apocrypha, edited by Gale A. Yee, Hugh R. Page, Jr., Matthew J. M. Coomber. Minneapolis: Fortress Press, 2014. Kindle edition.
Gafney, Wilda C. A Women’s Lectionary for the Whole Church, Year W. New York City: Church Publishing, 2021.
Powell, Mark Allen. Introducing the New Testament: A Historical, Literary, and Theological Survey. Grand Rapids, Michigan: Baker Academic, 2018. Kindle edition.
Roetzel, Calvin J. The Letters of Paul. Louisville, Kentucky: Westminster John Knox Press, 1998.
Sampley, J. Paul. “The Second Letter to the Corinthians.” In New Interpreter’s Bible, Volume IX. Nashville: Abingdon Press, 2015.
Smith, Mitzi J. & Yung Suk Kim. Toward Decentering the New Testament: A Reintroduction. Eugene, Oregon: Cascade Books, 2018, Kindle edition.
